The way we talk to ourselves can have a significant impact on what we do. For instance, when I complete on a piece of work it’s because I “needed to do it”. If I am told that I have to do something or should do something my hackles start to rise. If I consider doing something because I “want to do it”, there is not imperative in my mind, so it may or it may not be done.
So think of a time when you learnt something new – what were you saying to yourself to make that happen? Hold on to that language, it may come in useful the next time you find you just don’t want/need/have to get it done, even though you feel/think it does. So, if you can convince yourself with your own language, you can convince someone else with their own language, right?
I had a client that “knew” she “needed” to get a significant piece of work done, but she was not motivated to complete it. I asked her to talk me through the last new skill she had learnt. Very quickly the word “wanted” frequently cropped up. I reflected back what I had heard. We looked at the work that she was involved in and reviewed what she “wanted” to achieve with it and how she could turn something that she “needed” to do into something she “wanted” to do. She is achieving her target as I type.
If you find you have resistance or are facing procrastination from a colleague, you might benefit from listening to their language and playing back what needs to happen in the language that you know motivates them. It works! – Let me know how you get on.
Richard and Linda Thompson – I want to see the bright lights tonight