I was chatting to a friend yesterday who had gone in like a bull in a china shop in a meeting during the week. He had upset some significant (and senior) stakeholders. It didn’t sound good the way the story was presented. However, I discovered half an hour later (after he had exorcised his demons) that had achieved an amazing financial turnaround for his organisation at the beginning of the week.
Well, we can spiral downwards in the face of our perceived failure, or we could frame things differently. Here’s a couple of suggestions that may work.
- Think about what you do want, rather than what you don’t want – “I want to get this right” rather than “I don’t want to make that cock up again”
- Remember, there is no such thing as failure, only feedback; “I’ve a fair idea where I need to delegate that type of task, it’s not my strength and I can delegate out” – and take the feedback from colleagues/stakeholders to inform future actions/behaviours.
- Only work on self-maintained objectives – in other words, where you have complete control over the end result; “I want to make sure I obtain all the information I need from this meeting” rather than “Everyone has to agree to what I propose”.
- Don’t be overwhelmed by the big picture – break projects/objectives down into next steps.
- Only deal with facts – don’t create scenarios in your head that may never happen.
- Remember that it’s your thinking creates emotions (not the other way round).
- The only person who can make you feel anything is you – so let yourself be happy!
- Take responsibility for your own actions, but not others’. Don’t misuse your energy trying to rescue anyone (see previous blog ‘Did you get stuck again?)
- Don’t let glitches overshadow success – remember the great steps and achievements you have made! (It was really noticeable how my friend’s energy rose when we focussed on his earlier success.)
- Reframe anything that you are reflecting on negatively (for instance, you may not have got it right, but what great feedback for next time!)
- And remember, it’s been a bad day – it’s not a bad life.
Bob Marley – Three Little Birds