What would your best friend say?

“Being honest may not get you a lot of friends but it’ll always get you the right ones” – John Lennon


“What would your best friend say?” is a really strong coaching question That’s usefully posed when someone is stuck in their thinking; sometimes an issue can be so complex or stressful that someone can’t find a way through to find a resolution. Coaching enables people to develop their thinking skills to work through such situations whenever they arise.

I recently worked with a client who is in senior management and was looking to change his career. However, there were so many complicating factors that he couldn’t decide whether he wanted to take the leap that he was looking for. He had worked on issues such as values, identity and where he was focussing his energies, but he couldn’t make use of that information to make a decision.

Reflecting all the information that he had pieced together, I asked him “what would your best friend say to you now?” In the third person, he was slowly able to articulate what he had been avoiding, because he felt that he would be letting family down. Over the next few sessions he devised, developed and implemented his plan and he (and his family) were able to immediately benefit from the differences that were afforded by the change he made.

So, if you find yourself confronted by an issue, decision or challenge that you find too difficult to address, here’s a few strategies that might unstick you:

  • As yourself, ‘what advice would my best friend give me?’, or
  • Write a letter to a good friend as if you were writing from a future point in your life (5 years on). Write as if your life has turned out exactly how you wanted it and describe the things you are doing and how you got to be doing them, and
  • Ask yourself, if you could make your life whatever you want it to be, what would your life be like?

If you would like to work through any situation with a coach where you have become stuck, or are in a  period of transition, please do contact us to see what we can do to help you think through to achieve your full potential.

“Don’t be afraid of enemies who attack you. Be afraid of the friends who flatter you.” – Dale Carnegie


This entry was posted in Change, Coaching, Executive coaching, Life coaching and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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