How many steps to the great leap forward?

Happiness can be found in even the darkest of places, if only one remembers to turn on the light” – Dumbledore

Self esteem can be described as the respect one has for oneself – so low self-esteem is a lonely place to be. It is invisible, but people can see it and the owner can feel it.

Small changes in a working environment, pattern or role can have a significant ripple effect – on confidence, (perception of?) achievements and so self-esteem. This then becomes a pattern that evidence is sought for – and easily found. If you’re in that frame of mind.

Confidence and self-esteem are not a result of genetics, IQ or luck. They are mental processes and skills. In my coaching work, I’ve had the opportunity to work with clients on confidence or self-belief issues – for example people who’re going through role, management, or personal change – to work with people to unstick this situation by asking simple questions to facilitate a change in thinking patterns to a positive one.

  1. Change your opinion of yourself. Start noticing when your language is negative and when it is positive. Each time you recognise a negative phrase or thought pattern, identify its exact opposite – believing it isn’t necessary, it is simply a replacement opportunity and an exercise in reprogramming. How are you going to remember to do this?
  2. Celebrate your achievements. Make a list of your successes, good points and strengths and positive things that have happened to  you through the day. Write down compliments – and read them frequently.
  3. Think of three small positive steps. I have a friend who has MS, which create walking difficulties. She finds particularly going up the stairs really difficult. The way she deals with that is to just attempt one step at a time. And on a good day, she has a three step plan. Begin to make decisions, or choose, for yourself – but just start small so it doesn’t feel too hard. The more you speak up, or make your own decisions, the easier and more automatic it will feel.
  4. Be your own person. Don’t try to copy or compare yourself to others – you were made to be unique. Embrace every part of our personality, and all the little things that make you you!
  5. Don’t expect to be perfect. If you demand perfection then you’re setting yourself up for not being good enough. Everybody makes mistakes. So expect that to happen – remember to be kind to yourself!

“In a perfect world we’d all sing in tune, but this is reality, so give us some room! – waiting for the great leap forward!” – Billy Bragg

“The worst loneliness is to not be comfortable with yourself.”  – Mark Twain

This entry was posted in Coaching, positive psychology, Resilience, Wellbeing and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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