“Happiness can be found in even the darkest of places, if only one remembers to turn on the light” – Dumbledore
Self esteem can be described as the respect one has for oneself – so low self-esteem is a lonely place to be. It is invisible, but people can see it and the owner can feel it.
Small changes in a working environment, pattern or role can have a significant ripple effect – on confidence, (perception of?) achievements and so self-esteem. This then becomes a pattern that evidence is sought for – and easily found. If you’re in that frame of mind.
Confidence and self-esteem are not a result of genetics, IQ or luck. They are mental processes and skills. In my coaching work, I’ve had the opportunity to work with clients on confidence or self-belief issues – for example people who’re going through role, management, or personal change – to work with people to unstick this situation by asking simple questions to facilitate a change in thinking patterns to a positive one.
- Change your opinion of yourself. Start noticing when your language is negative and when it is positive. Each time you recognise a negative phrase or thought pattern, identify its exact opposite – believing it isn’t necessary, it is simply a replacement opportunity and an exercise in reprogramming. How are you going to remember to do this?
- Celebrate your achievements. Make a list of your successes, good points and strengths and positive things that have happened to you through the day. Write down compliments – and read them frequently.
- Think of three small positive steps. I have a friend who has MS, which create walking difficulties. She finds particularly going up the stairs really difficult. The way she deals with that is to just attempt one step at a time. And on a good day, she has a three step plan. Begin to make decisions, or choose, for yourself – but just start small so it doesn’t feel too hard. The more you speak up, or make your own decisions, the easier and more automatic it will feel.
- Be your own person. Don’t try to copy or compare yourself to others – you were made to be unique. Embrace every part of our personality, and all the little things that make you you!
- Don’t expect to be perfect. If you demand perfection then you’re setting yourself up for not being good enough. Everybody makes mistakes. So expect that to happen – remember to be kind to yourself!
“In a perfect world we’d all sing in tune, but this is reality, so give us some room! – waiting for the great leap forward!” – Billy Bragg
“The worst loneliness is to not be comfortable with yourself.” – Mark Twain